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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?