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We've been close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she's constantly blindsided by others. Her spouse walked away, which came as a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances disappeared then, since they had been focused solely on her husband. It shocked her. She made greater energy to be my friend, probably grasped better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern In Relationships

Throughout this period, quite a few close to her vanished leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for became hostile, although she had been an excellent employee, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both left the workforce and are seeing each other more, however, I feel the part I play between us is to listen. I open discussion points only for her to redirect them to her own topics. Politically, she holds unyielding views. I try to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She is arranging a holiday to a nation I've visited repeatedly and lived in for some time. I tried to provide insights, yet it was met with resistance. She purely solely sought validation of her plans. I recently returned from four weeks there she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we hope for. Yet having a direct talk aiming for working things out requires bravery and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express the way it makes you feel. This allows for no argument about this. Emotions are valid, of course. The third step is to ask how the two of you going to change the pattern between you."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful for promoting mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She might reject your concerns, since certain individuals have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of as it feels essential depends upon it being the only thing they trust. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare with these people, mere obstacles. However, she might start out defensively before reflecting on your words. And even if you never reach a resolution, you'll have closure that you've been open and direct.